I am writing this post a week after mother’s day. A day that we as mothers are supposed to be honored as mothers, grandmothers, mother in laws. So far (thank god), I am just a mom. Mother’s Day is also a day we reflect on our gifts (our children).
I knew I wanted to be a mom when I was a little girl and we used to make cootie catchers, but I never expected that I would have four children. I wouldn’t trade them; for the world…well maybe sometimes. I would say the majority of the time, I love being a mom and at other times, I hate it!! (n0t really.. just a little)
I decided to be a “stay at home mother” after my third child. I thought, How lucky am I to be able to stay home with my kids, not go to a 9-5 job, help out at my kids’ school? I was and am very fortunate to have a loving husband who works so hard which has allowed me to stay home with my kids. However, I do think there are pros and cons to staying home with your children, rather than having a career and being out in the workforce. Of course the pros and cons change, as the kids get older.
I really enjoyed my kids when they were babies. They were so much fun, and so damn cute. When your kids are babies you worry they won’t sit up, stand, walk, talk, or diaper train on time. They have tantrums and meltdowns. Little kids, little problems. The bad news is, the worrying never stops and big kids have bigger problems.
Adolescence and teenagers, in my opinion, the hardest time to be a parent you sometimes want to run away! Kids physical development is changing so quickly and then you are dealing with the deep emotional changes. It’s like they are little aliens trying to figure out how to fit into this world. As my therapist told me, the ages between 12-18, your kids go to a different planet and they will come back at some point. So what you have now (which may be a grouchy, rude, mean, kid) is not what you will get later, I promise. I have seen this first hand in my kids, and it is so true.
High School kids are still a challenging time for being a parent but, your kids are much more independent and can start to really make decisions and help themselves. The driving situation is awful for me. I would rather get a root canal, c-section, burn from an oven, than drive with a new driver. HATE IT!
College-post College kids definitely have their pros and cons. You are excited they are moving on, into the independant world, but worried they won’t take care of themselves, make stupid decisions, get into trouble, or get hurt. Then they graduate and you worry if they will get a job, be happy with what they are doing, become sustainable, and live a healthy, happy, balanced life.
Right now, I have a teenage daughter, learning to drive, a teenage boy graduating from high school, getting ready to go to college. I have two boys out of college, working and trying to make it in the entertainment industry. I have always loved and nurtured my children from the time they were infants, and have always been behind 100% in whatever interest they have. I think it is important to parent your children and not try to be their friends. They have their own friends that are their age and we as parents have friends our age.
Some days were and are tough but being able to stay at home and watch your children grow is amazing. It’s a time in your life that goes by so quickly. I am really grateful that my husband and I decided to make it work for us, but it hasn’t always been easy. We have had to make a lot of sacrifices (he commutes) along the way.